Current:Home > ContactTradeEdge-This ‘Love is Blind’ contestant's shocked reaction to his fiancée went viral. Can attraction grow? -Finovate
TradeEdge-This ‘Love is Blind’ contestant's shocked reaction to his fiancée went viral. Can attraction grow?
Charles H. Sloan View
Date:2025-04-08 21:39:35
"Love Is Blind" has returned to Netflix for its sixth season − and,TradeEdge oh boy, is its premise getting put to the test.
The show, which sees several singles date and get engaged before ever seeing what the other looks like, has prompted a discussion (and plenty of jokes) online recently for one contestant's stunned reaction to his fiancée. Contestant Jimmy Presnell seemed smitten with Chelsea Blackwell when she told him she has been told she looks like Megan Fox; but, when the two finally meet in person, he is in disbelief − and not in a good way.
Presnell and Blackwell's romance has been rocky since then, and relationship experts say their interactions on the show and the subsequent discourse online highlights interesting points about physical attraction and expectations in dating.
Attraction is a tricky thing. Sometimes it's there; sometimes it's not. It's not something that can be forced, but it is something that can grow over time, at least in some respects, experts say.
"I fully believe that attraction can grow over time as you form more of an intellectual and emotional connection and you get to know somebody," says Blaine Anderson, a dating coach for men. "I tell my clients this all the time: You have to be attracted to your partner. For a romantic relationship, that is a requirement. But it doesn't have to be instant sparks or instant physical attraction."
Can attraction grow? It's complicated
Whether or not attraction grows depends on what kind of attraction you're talking about, says Sara Nasserzadeh, a social psychologist and author of the book "Love by Design: 6 Ingredients to Build a Lifetime of Love." She draws a distinction between physical and sexual attraction.
Physical attraction, she says, has to do with finding the other person good-looking. Sexual attraction, on the other hand, has more to do with chemistry, connection and intimacy, and Nasserzadeh describes it as that "very intense draw that you have for somebody."
According to Nasserzadeh, the latter can often improve in time. The former, however, is tougher to grow if its not felt whatsoever in the beginning of a relationship, especially for men.
Still, Nasserzadeh adds, it's important to remember attraction has many layers − and different layers are going to be more or less important to different people. For instance, many people may find that a strong intellectual or emotional attraction to their partner is more important to them than a strong physical attraction.
"People are able to expand their ideas of attraction, because the meaning of attraction is, 'Why do you want to be around the other person?' " Nasserzadeh says. "It could be for so many different reasons."
'The ick' is all over TikTok.It may be ruining your chance at love.
Anderson says first date jitters and initial awkwardness are also normal and tend to get confused for a lack of physical or sexual attraction.
"You have to remember a first date, especially if you meet online, or even in the case of 'Love is Blind' if you haven't seen each other yet, it's going to be a little bit awkward," she says. "It's going to take a little time for both parties to get comfortable and therefore to be the best version of themselves."
In some cases, not finding someone immediately attractive can actually be a good thing, because it allows you to see who they are beyond their looks. This is why strong romantic relationships may emerge between people who start off as friends.
"When that attraction grows over time... you're getting to know them for more than just surface-level attraction," she says. "And surface-level attraction isn't enough on its own for a long and lasting relationship."
Is 'the spark' a red flag?Sometimes. Experts say look for this in a relationship instead
Social media and why it's harder to find people attractive in real life
There are many reasons why people have certain preferences for what they find physically attractive. One is what Nasserzadeh calls the exposure factor: In general, people are going to feel attracted to the kinds of people they're regularly exposed to.
This means that, in the era of social media, people's standards and preferences for what's attractive have been warped. If someone spends too much time gawking at edited photos of models and heavily made-up influencers on their phone, they're likely going to have a harder time finding everyday people attractive.
Anderson advises people to take stock of why they may not find someone physically attractive and to spend time off social media to see if their preferences change.
"I tell my clients all the time, you shouldn't be seeking out someone who looks like an Instagram model because even Instagram models don't look like Instagram models in real life," she says. "Everyone is looking at a highlight reel of edited photos and even AI at this point of what they think is beautiful. And that's just not real reality or what is necessarily realistic."
Nasserzadeh wants people to know physical attraction isn't the only important ingredient for a relationship.
"There are more reasons to be around another person," she says. "As long as all of those points of attraction serve the shared vision that they're trying to create together, then they're good to go."
Have you heard of 'relation-shopping'?It might be why you're still single.
veryGood! (1377)
Related
- Working Well: When holidays present rude customers, taking breaks and the high road preserve peace
- NATO member Romania finds more drone fragments on its soil after Russian again hits southern Ukraine
- Caroline Ellison says working at FTX with Bankman-Fried led her to lie and steal
- Actors strike sees no end in sight after studio negotiations go awry
- Arkansas State Police probe death of woman found after officer
- French troops are starting to withdraw from Niger and junta leaders give UN head 72 hours to leave
- Germany is aiming to ease deportations as the government faces intense pressure on migration
- ACT test scores decline for sixth straight year, which officials say indicates U.S. students aren't ready for college work
- $73.5M beach replenishment project starts in January at Jersey Shore
- James McBride wins $50,000 Kirkus Prize for fiction for “The Heaven & Earth Grocery Store”
Ranking
- SFO's new sensory room helps neurodivergent travelers fight flying jitters
- Police say woman stabbed taxi driver on interstate before injuring two others at the Atlanta airport
- NASA says its first asteroid samples likely contain carbon and water, 2 key parts of life
- Germany is aiming to ease deportations as the government faces intense pressure on migration
- US wholesale inflation accelerated in November in sign that some price pressures remain elevated
- Finnish intelligence says Russia views Finland as a hostile nation due to its NATO membership
- Mexico celebrates an ex-military official once arrested on drug smuggling charges in the US
- What a dump! Man charged in connection with 10,000 pounds of trash dumped in Florida Keys
Recommendation
Trump issues order to ban transgender troops from serving openly in the military
Which states gained the most high-income families, and which lost the most during the pandemic
Social Security recipients will get a smaller increase in benefits as inflation cools
Former West Virginia House Democratic leader switches to GOP, plans to run for secretary of state
NFL Week 15 picks straight up and against spread: Bills, Lions put No. 1 seed hopes on line
Inside the East vs. West rap rivalry that led to the murders of Tupac and Notorious B.I.G. in 1990s
Wisconsin GOP to vote on banning youth transgender surgery, barring transgender girls from sports
Makers of some menstrual product brands to repay tampon tax to shoppers